Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

The saying "a chip off the old block" comes to mind when I think of my daughter.  So does the sentiment that a mother's greatest revenge comes to fruition when her daughter has a daughter. 
It's really quite remarkable considering how different Charlotte's upbringing has been compared to mine thus far.  She was toted around a college campus as an infant and attended numerous lectures.  She lived with 4 other non-parental adults for the first 2 and a half years of her life and learned quickly to wield her charms to get someone to bend to her will.  Those are just 2 of the major factors that caused her childhood to be very different from my own.  And yet, she truly is a reflection of me.
Of course, she has her own personality and unique style, but the underlying current is becoming more  akin to my own every year.  She certainly has my stubbornness, or shall we say strong willed determination and my creativity.  She has my desire to read and write and curiosity for nature.  Those make sense considering how I spend my time.  What baffles me is her frugality that is showing at such a young age.  Oh sure, she would still easily spend money at a store if she could, but every year I see her becoming more aware of the cost of things.
This started innocently enough with my fondness of clearance endcaps and tendency to wander stores walking the back ends rather than the front and my ritual of the holiday 90% clearance runs.  At first she began to say things like, when these shoes, doll, game, etc is on sale, can we buy it?  This progressed to when it is on clearance.  Mind you, I appreciate this awareness of cost and realization that if you only wait a little you can purchase the item you want for 75% less than the original cost...  It's the next step that is troublesome.
I am frugal.  My husband would probably say frugal to a fault.  I double coupon, shop clearance and frequent garage sales and thrift stores.  I am appalled when a thrift store overcharges for items ($3.99 for a shirt!!!) and would rather eat in than out most of the time.  That said, I also have a difficult time enjoying things that cost money.  For example, the last movie I saw in the theater was The pirates that don't do anything.  This was seen during a $2.50 with popcorn admission - special family showing.  I also struggle with things like haircuts - why waste my money on a cut I won't like when I can cut my hair myself and get similar result?
My faulty frugality came to realization last week when I was forced to see my reflection quite clearly.  I promised Charlotte that we would have a mom/daughter date.  I had even priced out manicures at the local beauty school and planned a trip there.  We decided that if I passed my personal trainer certification, we would splurge and get mani/pedis.  And we did.  What a waste!  I was sorely disappointed in the overall experience.  Granted, this was my first pedi and only my third mani, but really I expected more.  The "massage" portion was very short and the nail polish was goopy. (They tried to thin it out with nail polish remover, but it was still awful!)  They also were awfully quick with Charlotte.  We had the services side by side and hers ended over 30 minutes before mine.  They just skipped a lot of the things on her.  She was bored and disappointed in the polish.  When all was done and we went to check out, my sweet daughter said "you have to pay for that? by mom, they were late!" (our appointment had started 20 minutes late and Charlotte had been ready to walk out and do something else instead.)  Then on the way to get ice cream, she commented that it's way more fun to paint our nails at home... and it's even free!
While I whole heartedly agreed with her, I was saddened by the realization that she may well face the same difficulties I do in splurging.  You see, I am the person who finds a grocery store as soon as we arrive at a destination.  I will walk 3 miles to the closest Starbucks that charges $1.95 for a tall iced coffee (with free refills with a registered card) rather than buy it in the hotel lobby for $3.95.  I am the one who, when eating out, thinks of how much cheaper and often better the dish would be made at home.  I never order anything to drink other than water at restaurants and very rarely order appetizers or desserts.  I split a meal with someone.  Even though i love massages, and really do need them because of my profession, I dread the cost and limit myself to 1-2 per year.  I will see something in the store that I really want... and wait, hoping it will still be around when it hits 75% off.  I shop the clearance racks, but only the 50-75% off ones.  The 30% are not worth my time.  I balk at garage sales when the shirt I want is more than $1.  And really, even $1 is a little high unless it's maternity or new with tags.  I am frugal... to a fault.

It's funny, but my inability to enjoy the "finer things in life" never bothered me much until I saw myself reflected in Charlotte.  I want her to be cost conscious, but not quite as frugal as I am.  As she grows I wonder what other personality traits, mannerisms, habits I will see magnified by her.  What else will make me cringe inside?  What will make me smile and say "Atta girl - just like mom."

I suppose they're right when they say that the mother's greatest revenge occurs when her daughter has a daughter.  I have a better understanding of what I put my mother through when I was Charlotte's age.  What they fail to mention, however, is that a mother's greatest joy can also come from her daughter.  Some of the similarities bring us closer. We are, at times, part of our own secret society where the boys in our family couldn't possibly understand what we do.  I will continue to look through my looking glass with a little trepidation, but also hope that my better qualities will be reflected as well.